The Power of Beliefs
octombrie 26, 2008
We are born believing. A human being bears beliefs and lives beliefs.
We tend to conclude using our senses to check the environment, referring to our (or other’s) past similar experiences, leaning on somebody else’s “shoulder” (parents and grandparents, teachers or mentors, those people we trust or respect) and taking as granted their words of wisdom.
Beliefs are sensors that stop us to fail, to get hurt, to make fool of ourselves. They come from the fact that we (or others) have experienced the same and got a certain, repeated result. We don’t touch fire because we know it burns. Nevertheless, our own beliefs are powerful limitations to move forward and barriers that we unconsciously build in order to argue for our failures.
In this essay, I will use mine and others personal experiences in order to emphasize how the discovery and overcoming of the limiting beliefs can change our attitude and make us more powerful in our lives.
“A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind.” (Robert Oxton Bolt) A belief is the acceptance of something as true, or thinking that something could be true.
Most of our influential beliefs are outside our conscious awareness and as a result, they drive our daily thoughts, perceptions and actions.
Did you ever hear somebody saying a stupid thing and surprised yourself actually believing it for a moment? What happened next? Write down your answers before you go on reading.
These are the most common responses: “How stupid I was to believe that!”/ ”This can’t be true.”/ “This can’t be possible.”/ ”What a joke!:)”
Most of the time, when our mind is free of any barriers, we think like children. We take things as granted, we believe in them, we let ourselves dream, even just for a second and enjoy them. Remember when you were a little child – most of the things that your parents told you were taken by granted. Did you believe in Santa Clause?
“Now I want you to do a little exercise. Look around the room you’re in, and take a few seconds to notice all the items that are red. Do not read until you have done this.
How many green items did you notice? But you asked me to look for red, I hear you say! The point I am making is that if you focus on red, you won’t notice the green!” (Claus, pg.19) Imagine red is the evidence to support one of your beliefs and green is the evidence that overcomes your belief.
We are in continuous search for validating our beliefs, striving for evidence and ignoring the facts that support the contrary. It is a natural, proved tendency of ours as human beings.
Let’s have another example from our everyday life. Did you ever hear somebody suspecting his/her spouse of cheating on her/him? What do you think is the first thing she/he is doing? She/he will be probably gathering evidence to support her/his suspicion and more than that, misinterpreting things in order to support her/his belief.
Expanding our beliefs system is not a pro-active action because it impacts on our so called “comfort zone”. But widening our beliefs system is surely a first step to liberate our mind, shape our actions and get more out of our lives.
“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.”(Chretien Malesherbes)
World records are always impressive accomplishments. The top accolade in the women’s 200-meter individual medley went Australian Stephanie Rice, whose world record of 2:08.45 minutes edged Kirsty Coventry of Zimbabwe this year in Beijing. “The last 50 [meter] was a great challenge. I mean, we were both battling it out. And that is sort of what the Olympics are all about. It is about the challenge. I was trying not to look over because I knew she was right there. I just tried to close my eyes and concentrate on all the hard [practice] sessions we have done. And really just focus on my own race.”, Rice said.
What do you think about her belief in being possible to succeed?
Let us get back to the fact that fire burns. It is undoubtedly. However, many people are known for walking on fire without burning their feet or hurting themselves. Is that a miracle? If not (and most of us don’t believe in miraclesJ), then what is it about? Is a “list of factors that act together to prevent the foot from burning” enough for us all to do that now without fear or doubt?
The world records, inventions and great things achieved by humans are a result of trust, desire and commitment to action. They have a common source: strong and positive beliefs.
Let’s now get back to Santa Clause. We all know Santa doesn’t exist, but we can’t deny that we all got the presents (or most of the presents) we asked Santa for…
Where do beliefs fall in the pattern of human behavior? What is the impact of beliefs on our achievements?
KNOWLEDGE+EDUCATION -> PARADIGM -> PERSONAL BELIEFS -> ATTITUDE -> FEELINGS -> ACTION -> RESULTS
This is a cascading pattern; each one is determining the next. Therefore, in order to change the outcome, we must change the pattern.
Are we aware that we sabotage opportunities to achieve our goals? We all have something that is holding us back. Over the years, I’ve heard myriad excuses from people for not putting themselves in situations that could move them forward. “I do not/did not have/had enough time”, “I’m not (too) good at…”, “I will probably be boring” “Whatever I do, it’s not going to change their mind/opinion on…”, “People are bad”, “Investors are not interested in such things”, “Women are only interested in men of success”, “This is my manager’s job, not mine” etc. Does it sound familiar to you?
What’s holding you back? It’s worth looking at what you have done or currently doing to prevent yourself from achieving your goal(s). It is said that we cannot discover oceans until we have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Limiting beliefs stop us to dream, to hope for, to want, to figure out the way forward, to try, to go on when we fail. It’s as we want to keep something in our lives in order to have what to blame for our own failure. Limiting beliefs make us feel less guilty and less responsible. In the same way that we blame others for our own frustrations, stagnation or inaction. It is the less painful way to live with, instead of looking at our lives and deciding what we can do.
“Process coaching helps clients develop the capacity to be with conditions they have been denying or avoiding.”“They don’t realize what it costs them to cut out […] parts of their lives.” (Witworth, pg.168) Our responsibility as coaches is helping clients discover what is true, real and important to them. In order to change the human behavior pattern we help them to stop pretending, avoiding or/and denying. We assist them to connect beliefs with achievements. We help them to take the best decisions and actions to change and fulfill their lives.
People and society are oblivious to the fact that you can’t change others unless they want to change themselves. I believe that you cannot change others unless you appreciate what they are first and believe they are naturally creative, resourceful and whole. In the same time, “you cannot lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.”(Gene Mauch)
“We are what we believe we are.”(Benjamin N. Cardozo)
